Giving Due Space To Each Other – A Key Constituent Of A Successful Married Life

Must a person force his/her spouse to take interest in something simply because he/she takes interest in it? No. Never.

A husband must not force his wife to take interest in software, simply because he himself is interested about it. Yes, he may try to generate relevant interest in her, but should appreciate it if she keeps showing her lack of interest.

Similarly, a wife must not force her husband to take interest in Western Classical music simply because she herself is passionate about it. Again, she may try to generate relevant interest in him, but should appreciate it if he keeps showing his lack of interest.

In fact, this mutual respect for each other’s liking and disliking should be maintained even at the “micro level”. For example, while spending a Sunday evening at home, the wife may watch a TV programme that she is fond of. But she must not insist her husband to watch the same when he is more interested to spend the time by reading a thriller. Similarly, the husband may watch a sports channel on TV if he loves watching it in his spare time. But he must not insist his wife to join him, when she is eager to play her piano.

Let us not forget that a key constituent of successful married life is giving due space to each other. In plain speak, it means giving your husband/wife the opportunity to just remain himself/herself, free of any compulsion to change so that he/she can “gel” with the spouse. A person should always remember that his/her spouse is married to him/her, and not to his/her hobbies/interests. And therefore the spouse does not have any compulsion to take interest in the latter.

Dear Facebook, I Am So Indebted To You

You help me to find out all my long lost good friends

The people who many years back used to occupy in my life such a prominent place.

You help me keep touch with my beloved friends, cousins and relatives

We keep ourselves updated about our respective lives with so much comfort and ease.

You help me find out wonderful new friends, who share my hobbies and interests

Whether it is blogging, poem writing, reading or chess.

Trust me dear, I love you so much as I am really so indebted to you

I hope you will soon become more interesting after having features that are new.

An Appeal To The Delhi Metro Rail Authority

Dear Sir,

I am a regular commuter of the Delhi Metro Rail services, and I must say that I find it to be a manna from the heaven for the Delhites. Every person from Delhi (and other parts of NCR) will unhesitatingly admit how his or her life has become significantly easier with the introduction of Delhi Metro service. The commencement of Delhi Metro service simply marks a golden chapter in the public transport infrastructure of the National Capital Region.

However, certain issues have already started raising their heads. And while these issues are not that serious in nature, nevertheless I will love you to take not of them and address the same, lest they turn serious in the future.

Some issues created by the commuters

Male passengers are often being found to occupy seats meant for ladies, even when a lady is found standing. I do not think it is a good excuse to occupy a lady’s seat that there is a separate bogey for women.

The rule of not playing music inside the train is not being followed by some passengers, which is creating problems in hearing the announcements on the forthcoming station.

Some passengers are having things like coke and snacks inside the train, even through it is prohibited. It is mainly observed during the evening (when people are going back home from office). And it is mainly being done by, well, female passengers (I am so sorry if I hurt any lady by highlighting this).

Passengers are often being found to be sitting on the floor of the train, even though it is not permitted.


Some lacunae on the part of the Delhi Metro Rail people

Sometimes the announcements on forthcoming station are not there, leaving passengers confused about the station the train is going to enter next. And what is worse is that sometimes there is wrong announcement about the forthcoming station, thus making it more confusing for the passengers.

Sometimes the train gets stuck up in a station, or in the area adjacent to it. And it remains in that condition for at least 5-7 minutes, and sometimes even for more time. It is very irritating especially in the morning, when people are going to office and naturally every moment is valuable.

Sometimes I have found that the CISG personnel are not that serious about checking a passenger if he is a regular face in that station. This is a bit scary, as terrorists may try to use this as an opportunity.


So these are the problems that I wanted to share with you. I am a die-hard admirer of Delhi Metro Rail, and will love it to be impeccable and perfect. This explains why I shared these problems with you, as I felt that it would help you to make Delhi Metro Rail service more perfect, something that you also want.

Regards

Raja Basu

Noida

The Key To Language Preservation - Speak It In A Liberal Way

The rapid globalization has resulted in an all-pervasive spread (or intrusion) of the English language. And it is a common knowledge that it has threatened the survival of a number of languages in the world. (However, the languages that are getting extinct or are on the verge of extinction are actually victims of inadequate speakers, and not of the “invasion” of the English language).

So how to address this situation?

Well, an ordinary person as I am, I have decided to show the audacity of presenting some suggestions.

I feel there is a very simple solution for the problem – the native speakers of a language should keep speaking the language in a liberal way.

Now, what do I mean by speaking a language in a liberal way? Well, it means speaking the language without getting too much conscious about its purity and sanctity. Rather you should accept the ground reality, and speak the language by borrowing certain terms and words from the global language, i.e. English.

Let us be practical. Evolution is part and parcel of every aspect of human civilization, and human language is no exception. Your love for your language is understandable. But if you follow a puritan attitude, and try to speak the language without any touch of the modern world, then that will be more threatening for the survival of your language. Because if a language (or for that matter any form of socio-cultural expression) tries to deny evolution by remaining stagnant, then its very survival gets threatened. Because stagnancy is in direct conflict with survival. A language has only two choices - either to evolve and grow, or to die a gradual death. There is no room for the third choice, i.e. maintenance of a so-called purity (read stagnancy).


And why should you feel that borrowing words from the English language will reduce the sanctity of your language? Rather it will further enrich your language. I can give the examples of three languages of India, all of which are known to be rich (actually all Indian languages are rich). These three languages are Hindi, Urdu and Bengali. Significantly, all these languages have borrowed a huge number of words from various other languages. In fact, Urdu itself was born as an amalgamation of seven languages. As a native speaker of Bengali I know how proud we are about our mother language. But incidentally the Bengali that we speak today is embellished with a number of words from Portuguese, Arabian, Persian, Hindi, Urdu, English and many other languages. The so-called pure Bengali that was spoken by our forefathers is long extinct. But we do not feel that by borrowing words from other languages we have reduced the sanctity of our language. Nor we have any embarrassment about it. Rather we feel that the “intrusion” of non-Bengali words into our language has further enriched our already rich language, and has also made it sustainable.

And yes, we modern Bengalis use many new English words/terms/expressions which our predecessors would not use even just 30-40 years back, like “globalization”, “global warming”, “Information Technology”, and so on. And in general the use of English words while speaking in Bengali has increased a lot. But this practice has neither threatened the survival of our language nor has reduced its sanctity. If we would refuse to include these modern words and terms in our language, then it would have reduced the expressive quality of Bengali. We would find it difficult to express ourselves in our mother language, and would be forced to resort to other languages completely. And it is in this case that the survival of our mother language would have been threatened. And why has the use of English words increased? Well, it is a direct result of globalization, which we can not avoid.

In fact, English itself has always been open to change, and has borrowed a lot from other languages, starting from Latin and Sanskrit to French, German, Hindi, and so on (the list is actually endless). And it is actually this that has made that language so rich and expressive. English would not have become the global lingua franca if its native speakers still tried to speak it in the way it was spoken during the days when England was called Albion. Why, today’s English is so different from even the way it was spoken at the time of William Shakespeare.

So my friends, let us take pride in our respective mother languages, and speak the same with pride and passion. At the same time let us not have any flawed sense of pride, which will make us too much puritan about our language. Let us be open to change, and let us make our language both sustainable and further enriched by freely borrowing from the English language. It will not reduce the status of our language in comparison to that of English. Because English itself is indebted to many of our languages.

Shed your flawed idea of lingual purity, and be open to words and expressions from English (and other languages). That will not only ensure the survival of your beautiful mother language, but will also make it more rich, more lively and more vibrant.

“Most Of The People In North-East India Are Muslims”

It was around 9 am today, i.e. 6th November 2010. I had boarded Delhi Metro from the AIIMS metro station (up to which I had come by bus from my Noida home). I was about to get down at the Sikanderpur station in Gurgaon, from where my office at Phase-V in the Udyog Vihar locality is easily accessible by auto.

Being the next day of Deewali, the train was much less crowded in comparison to the other days, and I soon got a seat. Just beside me were sitting two men in their early 40s. They were constantly chatting, touching various topics. It was basically one person who was making “expert” remarks on various issues, while the other person was nodding approvingly with a smile on his lips.

After having discussions on various topics, such as the Indian media, economy, etc., they ultimately picked up a discussion on the various Indian communities and their characteristics.

I had got engrossed in the compilation of O’Henry short stories that I was carrying (I usually carry a book or magazine while traveling in metro rail), when a certain remark made by the “expert” guy drew my attention.

“Most of the people in North-East India are Muslims, especially in Assam”.

I was really “impressed” with the man’s “knowledge” about the various Indian communities, and I was sure that I would get to hear more of such “gems” from him. So I got more attentive to their discussion, while keeping my eyes on my book. And then, after some more discussions on the various ethnic communities of India, came this one –

“Bengalis and Biharis are the topmost scoundrels (he used a Hindi word which I cannot use) of all the Indian communities. You will find them everywhere”.

I was all ears, when suddenly the “expert” got a call from somebody at his cell. And before he was through with his long conversation, the Sikanderpur station arrived, forcing me to get down. What an abrupt end for an interesting experience.

India Should Take Up “Roots Tourism” Seriously

With a huge Indian Diaspora across a number of countries in the world, India has a golden opportunity to reap rich harvest from “Roots Tourism”.

As everybody knows, there is hardly any country without at least a moderate population of PIOs (People of Indian Origin). They are present in the USA, Canada, Europe, Caribbean Island countries (notably Trinidad &Tobago and Guyana), South East Asia (such as Singapore and Malaysia), African nations (like Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, South Africa, etc), Mauritius in the Indian Ocean region, Fiji in the South West Pacific region, and so on. And many of them have been staying there for various generations. This wide-spanning Diaspora provides India with a strong potential tourism market, and the Union Tourism Ministry may chalk out a specialized campaign to tap the same.

Personally I feel that the emphasis should be given on targeting the Indian origins in Mauritius, Fiji, Caribbean Island countries, African countries and South East Asia, with the PIOs in Europe, the USA and Canada being given somewhat less priority. Why?

Actually, the PIOs in the USA, Canada and Europe are usually the ones who have been there for at most two or three generations. They still have contacts with their relatives back in India, and occasionally visit their homeland. The concept of Roots Tourism will not be fascinating to them, as they do not feel themselves to be detouched from their ancestral roots in that sense.

But the PIOs of countries like Mauritius, Fiji, Caribbean Island countries, African countries and South East Asia are usually the ones who have been staying their for several generations, and have completely lost touch with their relatives back home. So they do not have any family ties that can encourage them to visit their original homeland. And the only way to enthuse them to visit India is to generate in them an emotional urge to visit their ancestral roots, something that the Roots Tourism concept is precisely aimed at.

I understand that the Bihar government has already launched a Roots Tourism campaign in countries like Mauritius and Fiji, where the PIOs mostly comprise Bihari origins. I do not know whether any other state government has launched any such initiative. Nor I am aware whether the Indian government has any such plan. If it does not, then I feel it will not be a bad idea to go for such a plan at the earliest.

The Innovative Family Definition By Ashok Chavan

Politicians are known for saying anything that comes in their mind when they are desperate to come out of a fix. It is not uncommon to hear them making remarks that leave us, the mass, in peals of laughter.

But the recent remark of Mr. Ashok Chavan, the chief minister of Maharashtra (I do not know whether he will remain chief minister till the time you will be reading this) was something that left me completely dumbstruck.

Chavan was left red-faced with the leakage of this unpalatable news that his late mother-in-law’s name is there among the list of the illegal allottees of flats in the Adarsh Housing Society, i.e. those flats which were meant for war widows.

Desperate to wash his hands off, Chavan came up with an innovative definition of family. He simply said that a person’s mother-in-law cannot be counted among his relatives. He then went one step further, and categorically presented his own definition of a family. He said that in his view, a family comprises “the husband, the wife, and their children”.

It means, after a man gets married, even his parents do not remain parts of his family anymore, while the man himself remains their relative.

As per Chavan’s definition of a family, my parents ceased to be my relatives on 29th November 2009, i.e. the day I got married to Debyani. But, curiously, I very much remain their relative.

Really, what a definition, Sirji!